Now in paperback, one of the first books to help navigate the profound emotional challenges of caring for elderly parents in a strained parent-child relationship.
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Taking care of aging parents
Customer Reviews
An Incredibly Helpful and Honest Book
Review Date: May 30, 2010
Reviewer: R. Stamm,
I found this book at a time when I was really struggling with the caring for my mother. This book is incredibly helpful in pointing out the, sometimes, obvious challenges of care giving and offers real life solutions. I don't normally mark up a book but this one is full of different colored hilighting, notes and dog-eared pages. I found myself among many of the stories. It brought to light thoughts and perspectives that I had not considered since I was too busy surviving life at it was.
The strongest point the book makes it to set reasonable limits. Burning yourself out does no one any good. Much like the advice given in first aid class or on an airplane - keep yourself safe so that you can help others around you (put your oxygen mask on first). You have to be okay in order to be of any help to those around you OR to yourself.
One of the few quotes in the book is "When confronted by an ocean of need, bring a cup". I have this on my refrigerator to remind me that I cannot bail out another person's ocean of need, but I can bring some relief without drowning myself.
I agree that the title is a bit misleading. This book is helpful for those who have had less than an open, loving relationships with their parent(s), but it offers practical information to anyone in a care giving role.
I keep this book handy and refer to it often, especially on the days I am trying to keep my head above the "ocean's waters."
Taking Care of Your Parents Can Be Rewarding
Review Date: November 4, 2007
Reviewer: Joyce Lynne,
Doing the Right Thing is written for children taking care of their elderly parents. The book is well written and emphasizes the need for setting limits in taking on this difficult task. Specifically, Roberta Satow speaks of reaching a balance for children who have had distant, difficult relationships with their parents in the past. She emphasizes having boundaries and taking care of one's self in order to deal with the issues that inevitably come up at this time. As a daughter taking care of my mildly demented mother, I found this book helpful in validating the positive things that can come out of this new chapter in my life. Feelings from the past can be resolved and a new, positive bond can be formed with your parent. I highly recommend this book to any child taking care of an elderly relative and for children who are experiencing guilt over the resurfacing of old feelings at a time when our parents need us most.
A MUST READ BOOK FOR EVERY HUMAN BEING
Review Date: May 7, 2006
Reviewer: Edward Skonieczny, Massena , NY USA
This is it folks! Probably one of the most important books I have ever read. It took me, as the reader, full circle from my childhood all the way through to my current relationship with my aging parents, in a matter of hours. I could not and would not put this book down. It wouldn't let me. Never have I read anything on the issue of children dealing with their aging parents that has so thoroughly covered every human emotion. It is gut-wrenching and inspiring at the same time. Kudos to Roberta Satow for having the desire and the ability to write about a topic that is so controversial and so very necessary. This book pushed all of my buttons and made me rethink every aspect of my relationship with my parents and my own children. This subject cannot be talked about or written about enough. I took on every role while engrossed in this book. I was child, sibling, parent and aging parent all at the same time. I was hit emotionally from every angle. When the book was finished I was literally angry that there weren't more pages. I can't stop thinking about or talking about this book. Now that is the sign of a great book! Please tell me there will be more where this came from!
Alot of empathy, no concrete solutions
Review Date: January 31, 2006
Reviewer: Pamela, SLC, UT
The interviews in this book were very enlightening, giving me some new insights into the situations that I, and apparently many others, are going through with aging parents. I did sympathise with many of the adults, and I guess the only shortcoming of the book was that I expected it to provide me with solutions. I realize that may be impossible to receive from a book, but I do think I gained a lot by the empathy I felt to others who deal with the same insolvable and sometimes intolerable situations. I would recommmend this book to those just beginning to feel the pull to help their parents so that some strategies may be of help in the earliest stages before patterns are set.
Right On.
Review Date: October 5, 2005
Reviewer: Brenda, Canada
The introduction to this book left me breathless - the author could have been looking over my shoulder at my own interaction with my mother, and dealing with the welter of emotions that come out of that relationship. I very much appreciate the author's disclosure of her own situation - I think this gives an immediacy that the reader can relate with. Anyone in a care-giving situation with their parents' should read this book, no matter what their relationship with their parents was like. I plan to recommend it to everyone I know, because they will need this kind of information sooner or later.
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An Incredibly Helpful and Honest Book
